February 20, 2020
Planning my wedding almost 6 years ago was quite a nightmare. It was the typical non- stop stress, this or that, check these off the list, and “I have so much to do” scenario. When I look back and remember that time, it doesn’t leave me with warm fuzzies, that’s for sure.
As I’ve been on the other side of that planning now, both as a married woman and photographer (OH HEYYYYY;) I’ve realized and learned so many things I wish I had known back then. I hope they will help you in your journey of preparing for your next greatest adventure of marriage.
Your wedding is a BIG deal. But the marriage is really what we are celebrating. So why follow trends, when those will only fade over time? What does it profit if your wedding looks like everyone else’s? You get to decide what is important to you, you don’t have to listen to society or follow the pressures of culture.
What I wish I had done here instead, was to bring my attention back to us. I wish I had asked questions more along the lines of:
What makes Ryan and I unique?
What things are special to our relationship?
What sentimental factors can we weave into our day?
Should we ditch tradition and elope with our family?
I believe both. This one sort of goes along with the first point, but on a slightly different note. While there are some really good things on Pinterest, it can also be SUPER overwhelming! If you’re anything like me, sometimes there are too many options.
I found myself pinning til my eyeballs fell out. And there I was with a BAJILLION ideas and no real direction for how to implement them. Some were completely opposing of each other and completely different ideas that I couldn’t decide on. If this is you right now friend, stop and take a deep breath. Stop looking at what others are doing, and reflect on what YOU want to do and is being true to YOU. It’s a great tool to get your inspiration going, but don’t solely rely on it.
I wish I could have written this one on my forehead. Oh my lanta! I did the complete opposite of this and it kept me from ENJOYING a lot of things. Which granted, I did basically plan my whole wedding myself and had no direction, other than blogs & google, about what I should do. But when I look back, it makes me sad that it was such a dreadful season. Maybe your in the same boat sis? But you don’t have to be!
Rather than getting check lists online (which I know can be helpful but are still overwhelming), just take a step back and breathe. What are things that you can remove from your list that aren’t an absolute must? No one thing on your list is going to prevent you from getting married (aside from the marriage license. Das important). So why not simplify, downsize, and refocus your planning from the color of the table cloths, to cultivating your relationship with the man you will commit growing old with soon.
Here’s what I’d say to my 22 year old self, and also to the girl who feels the pressures of everything having to be perfect. At the end of the day and in light of eternity, the wedding day is a celebration of something incredibly important. The very design and nature behind the joining of two souls is filled with sooo much intention. THIS is what’s important. And this is what truly matters.
It’s not about having a Pinteresty wedding or having all the details just right, it’s about committing your life to the person the Lord sees fit for you to be with. It’s about celebrating a GIFT we’ve been given to learn more about ourself, our spouse, and ultimately Jesus. Keeping that in mind will make everything else seem a bit less important and make the process more enjoyable.
photos by: Vember Photo
See behind the scenes of our move to Kauai HERE.